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The Pain Files – Bondage, Fetish and Sadomaso
Crystel Lei walks up to me hesitantly, obviously scared of the mostly-male crowd in the room. She stutters, and stammers, and blurts out, “There don’t seem to be many women here. You look friendly, do you mind if I ask a question?”
“Go ahead,” I say, wondering for the millionth time why all the new players in our crowd seem to come to me for advice and reassurance.
“I’ve never really explored bondage before,” Crystel Lei says hesitantly, “and I would like to know exactly what is a ‘Top’ and a ‘Bottom’, what people say when they talk about doing a ‘scene’.
“Perhaps a bit of a demonstration would help,” I reply with a (hopefully) friendly smile. “Hm… luckily I have a few friends in the room who might be persuaded to help me show you a thing or two. Or perhaps you’d rather I demonstrated on you? Here, these cuffs ought to fit your wrist…” (I reach out to take your wrists, and you pull away sharply. “Safeword!!!”, you yelp, and I immediately back off.)
There are two lessons here. You have already learned the first one, the safeword, the “no” that always means no. The second… is a bit harder to explain. You were afraid when I reached for you with the cuffs. Your heart pounded, your muscles tensed up, you began to imagine the worst. It was fun to watch. (I grin widely.) And you enjoyed it too… why else are you still standing here within arm’s reach of me??? Perhaps I’ll try it again… (I reach out again, and this time you don’t step back fast enough. I buckle the cuffs around your wrists, and attach them to a handy chain that is dangling from the ceiling. Just as you reach the panic level, I unhook the chain, bring your wrists down, and wrap you in a comforting hug. When you stop shaking, I remove the cuffs from your wrists, rub them gently to make sure your circulation is OK, and step back.)
That was a scene, Crystel Lei. It may have only lasted 30 seconds, but I took control of you, caused you fear and uncertainty… and we both enjoyed it. I controlled the action, and you… that made me the Top. You were subject to my will… that made you the Bottom. Of course, Crystel Lei, Top and Bottom are just roles. While some people only play one role, and are referred to as ‘Tops’ or ‘Bottoms’, other people switch roles depending on the mood, the partner, the phase of the moon, or whatever. Would you like to switch roles, Crystel Lei?
(Crystel Lei shakes her head fiercely “no”.)
That’s OK, Crystel Lei… I understand. You should never feel pressured to play when you don’t want to, how you don’t want to, or with someone you’re not comfortable with. Me, personally, I’m a lot more interested in playing with men than with other women. Hm… who’s around tonight… (I scan the room, picking out familiar faces, and finally point a finger towards the back of the room. “Sir, would you like to assist me for a few moments?”
The gentleman stands up and picks his way through the crowded room towards us.)
Sometimes, Crystel Lei, a scene is planned in advance, scripted like a ballet. Other times, it can happen on the spur of the moment. Creativity and an open mind can turn almost anything into a sensual experience, as long as “EEEP!!!” (I yelp loudly as two fingers poke into the ticklish spots in my ribs. I whirl around to give a disgusted look to the grinning gentleman standing behind me.
“Didn’t you want a demonstration of being Topped?”, he asks.
Not deigning to reply, I turn back to my conversation.) As I was saying, Crystel Lei, anything can be part of a scene, if you want… (My voice trails off again, as my wrists are pulled behind my back and enveloped in an X-shaped pair of joined cuffs.) Um, Crystel Lei, can we finish this conversation later? I’m a bit tied up right now…
“You know better than to ignore me”, he says.
“Yeah, sure,” I reply, and begin to walk away.
“Disrespectful and disobedient,” he adds, “you will have to be punished.”
(Crystel Lei, please don’t laugh. Yes, I know it seems funny, but that’s because you’re not the one with your arms behind your back. Besides, if you start to laugh, I’ll start to laugh, and then I’ll really be in trouble…) I keep walking, until I am grabbed by my cuffed arms and dragged back to the center. The gentleman leans down and whispers for a moment in my ear, and I whisper briefly back to him. (That was a quick scene negotiation, Crystel Lei. He said what he wanted, and I agreed. Sometimes it takes longer to decide the parameters of a scene… perhaps the partners need to be more explicit in describing what they do or don’t want to happen, or one partner mentions actions to be avoided or limits not to be pressed. Sometimes folks know each other well enough to play without having to negotiate each and every time. Different, um, strokes for different folks.)
A kind, helpful soul from the audience places a bulging toybag on an empty table, and pulls forth a variety of nasty-looking toys. (Gee. Thanks so absolutely very much, Ma’am.) (Don’t look now, Crystel Lei, but that was gasp another woman. Wow. That makes two of us here!!! Amazing, isn’t it???) Without much further ado, my hands are attached above my head, and my feet are spread apart on a long bar.
“You’ve been bad, and you must be punished,” the gentleman admonishes. “I’ll keep this quick, and then you can return to your conversation.”
“Thank you, Sir,” I say, beginning to be worried about just what, precisely, he has in mind. I turn around sharply at a noise behind my back, and the last thing I see is a blindfold being settled over my eyes. The faint noises resume. He must be looking for something else in that bag. I begin to imagine all kinds of horrible tortures that might be aimed at me, while I strain my ears for the slightest of warning noises.
(Y’know, Crystel Lei, I’m tied up and helpless… he’s got me right where I want him… he should press my advantage.) “Agggh!!!” In that slight moment of distraction, I’ve been fiercely attacked with… a piece of bunny fur. Once I get over being startled and start to enjoy the sensation, though, the gentle strokes of fur being brushed over my skin stop, to be replaced by the slithery sliding of cool leather. The strands drop off my skin, and I hear a swish as the gentleman tests his aim on a patch of air. The second stroke stings my right shoulderblade; the third stings my left. The fourth stroke is full-force, and lands with a resounding, reverberating thud that sends me leaping forward in terror… though it landed on the floor. (What’s wrong, Crystel Lei, haven’t you ever had empathy for a poor defenseless floor before? No??? You don’t believe me? How about this… the most sensitive organ in the human body is the brain. That one, I trust you can believe.) After only a few more strokes, I am enjoying the rhythm of the strokes, leaning backwards into the blows that make my heart pound and my nerves sing a fiery song. (Yeah, Crystel Lei, I know, it sounds silly. Not too long ago, I thought this kind of hyperbole was utter nonsense. But I tried it… and I like it, for reasons that I can’t describe in words.) I lean backwards into a stroke that never comes… and I wait, and wait. And wait. The swishing of the cat teases me with promises of more, but I continue to wait, frozen in anticipation. When the blow finally hits, though, it’s not on my shoulders, but across my ass. “OUCH!!!”
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Another blow lands on my ass, and I jerk forward against the chains, trying to run away from the sudden pain. A few more screams later, just as I’m about to beg for a reprieve, the blows stop, and I’m wrapped securely in a hug. A long kiss helps me to regain my composure. The bonds are released, and the gentleman leads me over to a sofa to calm down and come back to normality.
Um, Crystel Lei? Why don’t you get someone else to finish explaining what Tops and Bottoms are all about. Me, I think I’m going to curl up into a little glowing ball for a while here…
The Pain Files
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